Archive for November, 2011|Monthly archive page

day 83 – sunday music corner

In Uncategorized on November 20, 2011 at 5:26 pm

i can’t wait to discover more of the bombay bicycle club!


day 82 – richness

In thoughts on God, thoughts on things on November 19, 2011 at 5:39 pm


“There are people who have money and people who are rich.”

-Coco Chanel


coco, i couldn’t agree more.

there are a few things i want to be rich in:

beautiful, healthy relationships.

love, to receive and to give, even if it means laying down my life.

the blessings, presence, and word of the Lord in my life, daily, in everything-

i want to be rich in hearing His voice!

a warm, welcoming home (which is really not out of a space, but out of your heart, no matter where you are).


i think to be rich with money is a short-sighted goal.

not that it can’t be noble, because it can be,

but money is not the currency of heaven.

(not that i don’t want the Lord to bless my finances, that he can’t use them, or that i don’t want to be financially stable.  He knows i do.)

He does not need money to be a catalyst for His Kingdom.

(but He can, and does, use it!)

the currency of heaven is true richness,

His Spirit,

the fruits of it,

meekness, not power-hunger,


a love for the least and lowest.

we cannot give out of our wallets if we cannot give out of ourselves.

we cannot give out of our excess if we are not willing to give out of our treasure-keep.


Jesus said,

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

i want a treasure-chest of a heart for heaven.

day 81 – okay, out of hiatus

In thoughts on God on November 18, 2011 at 12:32 pm

in Isaiah 58, Isaiah talks about true fasting.

i don’t know about you, but when i think about fasting i think about how much i’m not good at it.  i never have been.  i don’t usually give it a respectable shot because 1) i feel like i just won’t make it that long not eating and “just making it” (/chick-fil-a) will consume my thoughts, defeating the purpose of fasting, and 2) getting hangry. (hungry+angry)

some of my close friends have been studying and exploring Isaiah 58 in their own lives, and it wasn’t until yesterday that i dove in myself.

replacing eating with praying is besides the point.  it’s funny how pea-sized our thoughts on these religious to-do’s can be.

here’s what fasting is, from the mouth of the Lord-

“Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.


If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.


there’s so much in there that is just so good.  i want my righteousness to go before me and the glory of the Lord to be my rear guard.

i really want to be like a watered garden, a never-ending spring of water (because honestly, i feel really thirsty in life – a lot)

this fasting is an act of radical love and servitude to the least –

the hungry, the poor, the homeless, the afflicted, and the enslaved –

to feed their mouths, give them a bed, anoint them with the Love of God and set them free in the name of Jesus

as He has set you free,

to pour yourself out for them.


i love that.  this word is GOOD to feast on!

i dunno what day it is anymore

In thoughts on God on November 15, 2011 at 10:01 pm

been busy and a little sickly – but i wanted to keep at least some momentum going with this little nugget of gold that i’ve been holding onto dearly.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

that is such good news for me.

he just wants our broken little helpless human hearts.

he LOVES brokenness, and draws close to the brokenhearted.

he is drawn to the needy and helpless.

he uses the unexpected ones, the ones deemed not-as-worthy as more “together” people.

he loves us just the way we are,

showers us with love in our condition

covers us in robes of righteousness dripping in Jesus’ blood,

making us the worthiest saints in the fellowship of God!



day 79 – brain weekend

In thoughts on things on November 14, 2011 at 2:45 pm

my brain needed a weekend this weekend.  so here’s what i did:

-celebrated at dru and emily’s wedding.  i sang some songs, i danced to NSYNC and Spice Girls, and admired the super-simplicity of their soiree.

-watched UFC on Fox.  all one minute and five seconds of it.  but mostly i ate pizza and wings.

-loved coffee mornings, church with family, and movie night

-enjoyed resting


so blog, thnx for the weekend!



day 78 – ebsd

In thoughts on things on November 11, 2011 at 11:54 am

this morning


hot blueberry muffins – with butter in the style of debbie miller

simply orange OJ – country style

coffee – with peppermint mocha creamer


Daily Light


“Oh, send out Your light and Your truth!

Let them lead me; let them bring me to Your holy hill and to Your tabernacle.

Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy;

and on the harp I will praise You, O God, my God.”

Psalm 43:3-4

day 76 – lost and found

In poetry on November 10, 2011 at 11:57 am

there’s a fall view from my windows

cross-legged on my made bed

books strewn like puzzle pieces

pieces of my will to remain steady

cold feet and curly haired

and a plan to be defiant

shattered by a storm of falling leaves

and a still voice

surely whispering something too good,

i believed it unlikely until now.

day 76 – some verse

In poetry on November 9, 2011 at 11:49 am

“musical checkbooks,” my mother says, knowing all too well

her voice in my head

i take the last of one account and transfer to pay the electric

the cold wind bows in for coming winter’s sake

and i cry just to get it out

and i sit, hopeful, with day and music and coffee

expecting fulfilment of promises

expecting hard work

day 75 – 3/4ths checkpoint + some prose

In thoughts on God, thoughts on me on November 8, 2011 at 3:27 pm

the house is quiet.  am is away babysitting for a few days, and k is at school.  i hear two second hands in a ticking competition, the hum of the garbage truck at the head of the street, and my old computer.   i had coffee with my mom today, her first time at jubala, and we just chatted about life and church and God.  i love how unimpressed she was that people drink their coffee black, asking for cream and sweetener.  so truly mama pat and i love it.

today i feel hopeful about the promise of the Lord, and trusting in His promise.  that’s hard.  i consistently see myself as Israel in the wilderness, unsure of how long i’m going to be out here, complaining about the manna and how i just want something different.  i’m just asking that my eyes will be open to blessing, everyday miracles, and provision.  that my heart would hold fast to the miracles the Father has done in my life up until this point to get me here.  a heart quick to give thanks and to worship and to trust.  it’s hard when you know the promise but don’t see the plan!

so today i just wrote out some things i’m so thankful for.  being in raleigh, family that is closeby and that loves me, supportive and close friends, j, the work that i do have, groceries, provision over and over again, shelter, sunny fall days, promises, the active voice of God in my life, how He loves and cares for every detail of my life, and how He’s moving and changing me.

day 74 – real dreams, lately

In thoughts on God, thoughts on me on November 7, 2011 at 3:40 pm

if you know me, you know i have the most vivid dreams ever. 

sometimes they’re just silliness, sometimes they’re a little scary, sometimes heavy, sometimes hilarious, and sometimes I hear from God.

 lately i’ve had some super vivid ones, and thought i’d log them here.


one of them was just really cool.  our landlord (bill toenails) had this other house that he owned and had designed himself (in typical bill fashion), and it was the huge-normous labyrinth of magnificent baths and showers everywhere!  it literally was like a maze, but it wasn’t scary – it was almost like something you’d expect in a theme park but more beautiful.  i would just walk around the next corner and there’d be a whole room of shower heads, and then the next corner and a beautiful single shower, and so on.  i remember seeing a small square door on a wall and opening it to find a secret room with nothing but hot tubs and pool tables and board games.  i really love bathrooms in real life so that was fun for me : )  i mean, it was like this, but all open, no doors


another one this past week was pretty scary.  but there was a very redemptive part!  so i’ll record that much.

the scary part is that i was in the attic of a big, rickety building and it was falling over.  i felt myself falling with it and knew it was going to hurt and i was going to die.  then i had this immeasurable peace and calm and prayed, “Jesus, angels!” and i stopped right there in the air with my legs suspended!  cooool!


and this one is my favorite.  obviously, since i’ve been searching for more work, finances have been a struggle.  thankfully i’m getting a little work here and there, and the Lord has provided.  it’s definitely a little stressful, though.

so saturday night j and some friends and i went to The Worship Center and a lady prophesied over me (many incredible things!) but one thing in particular about finances.  she said that the Lord was aware and was going to take care of my financial problems!

that night i had a dream that i was looking through my wallet.  i knew i had $7 in cash (which i have in real life) and pulled that out.  i kept rummaging around my wallet and found a twenty dollar bill.  and i knew it was the Lord!  then i rummaged around again, and found more cash all folded up amidst the receipts and lip glosses.  it kept happening, and the cash was unending, and i knew it was the Lord doing a miracle for me.

now, i’m not saying i’m expecting the Father to miraculously put cash in my wallet (but i’m not telling Him he CAN’T either!) but i absolutely see it as a promise of His intimate knowledge and care for my needs, and a rock solid promise He is going to be the provider of them.  not me or anyone else.