samanthasound

day 23 – getting alone with God

In thoughts on God, thoughts on me on September 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

why is it so difficult?

this has always been difficult for me.  getting alone with God.  there is something even a little frightening about it, something intimidating, something calling me to stop listening to everything else.  maybe that is one of the most difficult things about it – actively not listening to anything else, and actively listening to only one thing, something still and small in noise but the biggest thing, God.  it takes persistence, patience, and most of all, faith.

even when there’s nothing around me, i can still be listening to other things.  lists formulating in my mind  (groceries, email so-and-so, go to the bank.)  my cell phone buzzes with a text message.  i see that my floor needs vaccuuming.  i remember that i have to go get my car inspected.  that’s not to say the other obvious things that are easy to distract yourself with – other people, public settings, the internet, even music, and even ministry.  of course these things are not bad, and  you can meet with God anywhere!  that’s the blessing, that He will never leave or forsake.  but there is something special and blessed and a high calling of complete alone-ness with God.  even Jesus Himself would often withdraw into desolate places and pray (luke 5:16)

i find that i sort of guard myself with distractions, people, or schedule.  maybe getting alone with God seems to take too much effort.  there is the sacrifice of laying all other things down – important things, things that matter to you and to God – and seeking Him first.  it’s funny how i can feel like when i meet very alone with him, i have to catch up with Him on all the things i know i need to get better with, or catch up on all my forgiveness.  the enemy also works in this thinking, telling us that we’re not good enough yet to meet face to face with Him.  but this is exactly what Jesus took care of for us, that we may meet with Him unveiled, and loved exactly as we are.  when we are loved, we are changed.

maybe i feel like there’s always too much to do.  i commonly feel this way about important things i have to, and want to do, and that i want to do really well.  recording songs, creative projects,  meaning to spend time with someone i know i need to.  i will see a thousand other things i could do and somehow reason that i should get those things done first.  the devil seeks to trip me up there so i can stay out of the love of God’s presence.

so i challenge myself.  before i start to get ready in the morning, before i reason my time away, before anything else – to invest my time and efforts into something that will reap more benefits than getting all you need to do, done.  something that will bring more peace than a perfectly clean room.  something that is the thing you really want – to be loved.

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  1. thank you so much for this.

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