samanthasound

Archive for March, 2011|Monthly archive page

I linger and I linger

In poetry, thoughts on God, thoughts on me on March 30, 2011 at 2:49 am


Poet thoughts, daydream focus

A stranger to myself sometimes

I try to pull my cloud mind

to normal ground, I try

to be a stranger to my nature

while a stranger to who I am supposed to be, I try

to be a stranger to the swinging pendulum of my critique.

I linger and I linger

waiting for you to change me,

waiting for me to believe you,

really.

and you say I am no stranger to you.

march, inspiration, new things!

In thoughts on me, thoughts on things on March 8, 2011 at 2:47 am

currently excited about:

  • my very first 9-5 in my field of study (i start this week!)
  • taking some yoga classes again
  • springtime
  • a new march 2011 – december 2012 desk calendar.  it is purple.
  • a new moleskin notebook
  • real weekends
  • new budgeting
  • getting my new holly aiken bag!

currently finding inspiring:

currently listening to:

currently need to:

  • continue recording demo-lets of songs
  • finish my laundry
  • write some hand-written notes

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receiver

In thoughts on God on March 8, 2011 at 2:02 am

 

I have never been much of a receiver in my life.

 

Giving is much more comfortable – it is where I have control.

It is the idea that if I give, I get ______ (reaction, acceptance, friendship, worthiness, merit).

A glorified merit system.

If I don’t give I don’t expect anything in return.

 

This is where  Jesus turns me upside down.

He is teaching me that love is just as much receiving as it is giving.  You cannot give love if you have not received love.

He does not expect me to give to Him – my right, good deeds, my tithe, my time, my prayers.

He loves, no matter what.

The most precious reaction to that is not one of owing Him back, but of receiving His love.  It’s already paid for.