samanthasound

writing exercises I & II

In thoughts on God, thoughts on me on September 17, 2010 at 1:40 am

my life is checked in little boxes.  pages and trinkets, bits of memorabilia glued to the lines.  i am writing in sharpened pencil.

laundry is away for the most part.  not all the way or i’ll feel too proud and won’t be able to sleep.

here is the uncomfortable hilt of my control.

everything pretty much has a place.  still, it is not enough.

i never have enough money to feel comfortable and stable.

i can never be enough perfect to feel completed for the day, do enough things.

this is when i am so thankful for my Father who is not so concerned with such things.  just the state of my heart.

.

i always want everything done so i’ll have time to create things.

what i fail to compute is that things will never be done and that’s the beautiful thing of life.

process is the it, the goal.  process is life and i create in process.

a vase of mixed flowers is sitting on my dresser.  gym clothes set out.  white board calendar up and filled.

what i realize most is that i want God.

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